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Of Several Dreams

Title: Of Several Dreams

Author Eglantine_br

Rating PG

Word Count 580

This one probably makes more sense
if you have read the one before it. That one is 'The Trouble with

Of Several Dreams

The dream came.

Kit stood before the black oak desk.
The man behind it was in shadow, but Kit knew him well. The man had
the list. Kit could see it, read it. It was written in a cipher so
simple that a child might break it. He could see the man's eyes. They
were, as always, hard, cold, sharp as flint.

“They are on the list.” The man's
finger pointed.

And Kit tried to explain that the list
was incorrect. That the intelligence was wrong. He had never, that
he never would --- But he was to explain in Greek. And he could not
remember his Greek.

He could not remember the simple words,
the clearest arguments. His mind failed him. His mouth was dry.

“No!” He could only protest in
ordinary speech. He could only cry out in fruitless protest, as
anyone would. His mother and sisters passed before him, mute. Their
death was certain. His fault, all his fault. He struggled to speak,
to move. He could not. He saw his father, taken last, struggling. His
hair was gray, and Kit could see in the dream how Father had grown
thin with the onset of age.

“Why won't you save us Christofer ?”
Father asked.

And he realized, looking down at
himself, that he could not speak Greek, could not find his words,
because he was not Christofer at all, but a stranger.


He woke, in cold horror, to the sound
of steps and the door opening. His heart was pounding, the room was
dark. He got his fists up, they were all he had.

“Easy now, It's me. It's me, Kit.
Hush, no, shh...”

Thomas Walsingham's arms around him,
and the warm skin of his neck, where Kit's face rested. The joy
flared, and then died, as Kit came fully awake.

“You were dreaming.”

And Kit did not say 'dreaming of your
uncle, who made me a spy.' The warm hand was stroking Kit's back now,
touching him knowing and kind, through the linen of his shirt. And it
was so easy to rest his head. It would be so easy to say nothing,
nothing of that, or of the other thing. No.

“You are to marry,” Kit said.

The caress stopped, but the warm arm
embraced him still.


“I'll no more of this then.” Kit
kept his voice quiet and flat.

“You could, we still could--”


“But I love thee.”

“Why tell me that now?”

He could not help the anger in those
words. And he drew back, but the pain in Walsinghams eyes was too
much. Kit looked down at his own empty hands.

“You want us both, but I will none of
that,.” Kit said “You must come to love her. You will get
children of her--”

Kit cocked his head.

“As to that, are you sure that you

“Oh yes,” Tom Walsingham said. “I
have been making a trial of my abilities.”

He smiled, with uncomplicated pride.
Kit felt himself smile back. He was aching with sorrow, but already
weary of anger

“But I am not married yet.” Thomas
Walsingham said. His voice was low and roughened now.He moved closer
to Kit. He smelled of complicated spices, and warm skin. His hair
was pale silk, and his touch was warm.

“Let me stay,” he said. And Kit


( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Jan. 11th, 2013 11:11 am (UTC)
Jan. 11th, 2013 10:51 pm (UTC)
Poor Kit. He is an angsty guy at the moment. He came to Scadbury all happy, the last thing he expected was that he would break up with TW.

I hope I have remained true to his personality, as I see it. Let me know if he continues to make sense.
Jan. 13th, 2013 12:29 pm (UTC)
Poor folorn Kit= this wrung the heart somewhat - so it should of course and as always you convey so much so sparingly - beautiful

It feels so wonderful and yet strange to read you writing about somewhere I used to live and whose names are so familiar .When I nect get near there ( which will be in May) I will take you some photographs and send.

Did I tell you before that the village sign in the centre of town shows a portrait of ELizabeth and Walsingham?
Jan. 14th, 2013 02:34 am (UTC)
No, I did not know about the village sign. I can see bit of Scadbury on websites, but not that.

I find that I have mixed feelings about both Walsinghams. Certainly FW was trying to protect the state. (And the physical person of the queen.) He did some very ugly things to make that happen. TW does not seem the spyish type to me. He just seems like a rather decent, but not too self examining young man.

I picture Kit as a rather reluctant and anxious spy. He would have been much happier, and lived longer, just writing and being left alone.

Jan. 14th, 2013 11:01 am (UTC)
see picture coming in email

arghhh it is snowing and I want to go to Kew tomorrow - grrrrr
Oct. 3rd, 2016 11:13 am (UTC)
I love TW so proudly announcing that his manbits work with womanbits too.
Oct. 3rd, 2016 01:54 pm (UTC)
TW is such a dork. He is young and rich and not stupid, but just kind of oblivious. He does love Kit. But he should realize how hurt Kit is, but TW does not quite get it. He figures lots of men have someone on the side, so why not. Kit cannot bear to be made into a side interest.
Oct. 4th, 2016 12:42 am (UTC)
That thoughtless upperclass feeling of entitlement?
Oct. 4th, 2016 06:31 am (UTC)
Yes, some of that for sure. TW genuinely does not understand why he cannot have both.
Dec. 17th, 2016 09:41 am (UTC)
After reading the Aubreyad, TW's uncomplicated pride and amiable lack of self-examination remind me of Jack Aubrey as seen through Stephen Maturin's eyes - the non-violin-playing part of his character.
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )