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Knocked a little sideways

I have tears inside my face today. They keep trying to climb out of my throat and eyes.

Usually these shootings come, and I feel sad, in a distant way. I feel outraged on an intellectual level. I feel a twinge in my politics, I feel frustrated and helpless, but it is not like this.

I just want to cry. 

You know, it occurred to me, I was shot with a 9mm handgun. (Only a little bit shot, and years ago now,) so if anyone asks you guys if handguns have hurt someone you know, well, you all sort of know me. 

I remember the week after, explaining to my little girl that the man who shot me didn't mean to. I was so careful. I said, yes, he was a bad man. He was trying to shoot another man. And the other man was shooting too, and he was a robber. But, I said, the man who shot me did not mean to. He did not know that the bullets would come into our house. And, i said, if he had shot you-- (my tiny girl,)
he would have been very sad, because he would not want to hurt a child. (I still believe that about the fools that shoot up parking lots.)

My son was saying last night that he does not expect to see substantial gun control in the US in his lifetime. He is 21. He voted this year for the first time. 

I just want to cry. 

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
ladyhadhafang
Dec. 15th, 2012 06:02 pm (UTC)
*Hugs tightly*
esmerelda_t
Dec. 16th, 2012 12:11 am (UTC)
I've been in tears every time I've read an article about it. It's just so horrific and utterly needless.
anteros_lmc
Dec. 16th, 2012 12:13 am (UTC)
Usually these shootings come, and I feel sad, in a distant way. I feel outraged on an intellectual level. I feel a twinge in my politics, I feel frustrated and helpless, but it is not like this.
It's true. When the victims are small children the tragedy becomes so personal. I felt the same about Beslan. Still do. I just can't think about it.

You know, it occurred to me, I was shot with a 9mm handgun. (Only a little bit shot, and years ago now,) so if anyone asks you guys if handguns have hurt someone you know, well, you all sort of know me.
Further proof, as if any more were needed, that there can be no legally justifiable reason for the possession of hand guns.

*hugs*
thistle_chaser
Dec. 16th, 2012 01:39 am (UTC)
My son was saying last night that he does not expect to see substantial gun control in the US in his lifetime. He is 21. He voted this year for the first time.

Unfortunately I agree. This time the shootings are almost making me more angry than I am sad. I'm crushed about the children, it's a horrible, awful thing, but it makes me angry because it did not have to happen. But some number of Americans are so fixed on their "god-given right" to own weapons, and the whole political system is so messed up, I don't believe this will ever be brought under control. If killing 20 children isn't enough for us to deal with gun control, then what would be?
amaraal
Dec. 16th, 2012 10:36 am (UTC)
*hugs you gently* It's horrible, and as esmeralda said, utterly needless...
I've read comments about it over here in the online news. One said, it is all our doing. If we would be more careful about ourselves and our children, of course, things like this wouldn't happen.
Even we in good old Europe have to deal with illegal weapons. And we can but only shake our heads when we hear what has happened in the US - again! *sighs*
Your son is obviously sensitive about the subject. That's good. He should try everything to change the existing law. It's from the wild west anyway. And it is utterly stupid!!!

*gives another hug* You are not the only person I know who has been shot. My little sister nearly died, shot by her own ex-husband... just saying. And yes - every time I think about it I just want to cry.
eglantine_br
Dec. 16th, 2012 07:35 pm (UTC)
Oh, your poor sister. How horrible. Guns make violent action so much more easy. Is she ok now?
amaraal
Dec. 16th, 2012 07:48 pm (UTC)
sister
It happened 2001, two and a half weeks after her birthday. She is allright, can drive a car again and everything. But that asshole destroyed her life, of course. It had been a hard time. Her son was three back then... I fear a bit for him. He's an odd character, still, introverted. She still isn't able to cope with daily life's routine. But she found a man who obviously is in love with her. I cross my fingers for her, that this one isn't another mistake.

He got eight years nine month prison. I don't know what he is doing now, and I'm not interested either. He can rot in hell.

He inherited the rifle, an air-gun, from his brother, I think. He manipulated it and shot a small calibre with it. 'Only' 22 catridges. He shot her in the head...
Sorry. Maybe it's better I write you an email...
eglantine_br
Dec. 16th, 2012 09:50 pm (UTC)
Re: sister
Of course you can write me an email. I hope I did make you feel worse, talking about my past troubles, which are small in comparison.

Your poor sister...
chloe_amethyst
Dec. 16th, 2012 07:22 pm (UTC)
I had no idea you were a victim of gun violence. :-(

I feel hopeless, much like your son.

*hugs*
eglantine_br
Dec. 16th, 2012 07:38 pm (UTC)
It was long ago, there was not any permanent physical damage, except some scars.

But I do find it has been on my mind lately. And it could have hit my kids!

It could also have hit my husband. There were holes in our mattress we found the next day, and his pillow, he came within inches of being shot in the head.

As for changing the law, I want to hope.
kcwarwick
Dec. 16th, 2012 11:19 pm (UTC)
I keep trying to focus on the heroism - the teachers protecting their kids, giving their lives for them. I think the law will change eventually, but maybe not until those children are old enough to change it.
eglantine_br
Dec. 17th, 2012 03:45 pm (UTC)
Yes. There was heroism, and some very quick thinking which saved a lot of lives. I should think of that.
nodbear
Dec. 17th, 2012 12:34 am (UTC)
Sorry have been out most of day and couldn't write sooner -feeling for so many people today but your post and comments need *hugs* sp here they are
so fortunate for you all such a narrow escape back then - nad echoing that it is evidence galore that allowing easy access to guns puts more and mroe people in danger .
eglantine_br
Dec. 17th, 2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
It is so strange that something so obvious escapes many people here.

It has not been framed as selfishness-- but it is. Some people will simply have to give up playing with guns, so the bulk of us can be more safe.

As for the Constitution, it is a document I love and honor. But, as my son says, it was made to be amended. It used to have slavery in it, after all.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )