eglantine_br (eglantine_br) wrote,
eglantine_br
eglantine_br

Not to dwell on it--

This school shooting today is right near where my MIL and my husband's brother live. I lived in Connecticut as a little child myself. (To age 5.) And I lived there as an adult with a little kid that age. They are in a different town, but not too far away. The state is small. You can drive across it in a few hours.

The photos with that slanted winter light look like home to me. I know those trees, those cops. I know how those people sound. I know how those classrooms smell. I have volunteered in Connecticut classrooms. (Not how they smell today-- but on an ordinary day. They smell of peanut butter, and mittens, and markers, and grubby little boys.)

I once saw a little boy that age in the back of the class, unnoticed by the teacher, slowly and thoughtfully licking all the dust off a TV set. I know those kids. 

I was reading the footage. Nobody knows much yet. Even when we know what we can, It won't make any sense.  And then I thought, these parents have already done holiday shopping. They have trees up. They have gifts purchased for boys and girls who are dead-- dead. What will those people do now?  

Isn't that a small and stupid thought to make the tears come?
Tags: real life
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  • The earth rolled all the way around, and here we are.

    Hello. Just me today, no fiction right now. Thinking of you all, and how close I feel to people I have never met. What is meeting in person really?…

  • Re Marcella

    Sorry that this came out twice. Cannot seem to delete it for some reason. Please to not feel obliged to read it twice.

  • (no subject)

    The great bell began, not far, a deep baw baw, it was more than a sound, but something that came up through the soles of her feet. And now half a…