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Medical family stuff

Hi, guys. I am posting here about my real life, and my kid. It is under a cut because it is perhaps not for everyone. Although some part of me feels that there is no reason 

I had been trying for the past week to get a refill on daughters anti-seizure meds. Could not reach Dr. This happened 3 months ago too-- the last time we needed a refill. Last time I had to get a refill from the on-call who was a doctor I do not even know. 

We had not actually been to see the doctor for an appointment for about a year. At that time we had talked about changing daughters meds-- but it ended up not happening. Daughter had been very moody then, and we thought the pills might have been the cause-- but since then that had resolved.  So we were just cruising along on old meds. 

So, that is all backstory. 

Yesterday I still had not reached the doctor for the refill. I ended up leaving a message for the on-call, with answering service. I flagged it as an emergency, as daughter had missed a pill. (Usually, for my kid, missing one pill is not a biggie. The meds have a half-life such that she is still pretty safe.) 

So my girl had gone out to the mall with friends. 

Husband and I were getting ready to leave too. We needed to buy a sink pipe. The pipes here are so old that I had poked a hole in ours trying to de-clog it with a coathanger...

So, coat on ready to leave, phone rings. It is daughter's doctor. And she is very angry with me. She says that she had not seen us in a year, and that we had been in trouble with meds a year ago. I said yes, but things are better now. She said how was she to know that, and that she refuses to be the kind of doctor that just writes scripts and never sees us. I say that we appreciate that. She says she does not want our appreciation... Horrible horrible phone call.

Finally doctor, still seething, makes us appointment for this week. (Unheard of speed for seeing a peds neurologist.) She also says she will fill the script. Arrive at pharmacy. Nothing there from dr. Beg pills off the pharmacist to get us to appointment. 

Buy sink pipe. Husband and I are just starting to think about coffee. 

Phone rings-- daughters bff, calling from the back of an ambulance. Daughter has had a seizure and is being transported to a hosp in the ass-end of Staten Island. Really guys, they make 15 year old girls better than they used to. Poised, calm, kind, practical....

So husband and I get ourselves to the hospital, and spend the usual 5 hours or so sitting in the er. My girl is ok. It was not a bad one, but it leaves her sore and tired and confused. And she seems so sick and small in the hospital. They always want to test for underlying causes. I know it makes sense, but it takes so long. Daughter is rock-solid with needles. She has been since the age of two. She just sticks her arm out and they do whatever, her mouth does not even twitch. (That is a show-stopper in a toddler, believe me, but it broke my heart then, and it still does a bit.) In this case they took 5 vials of blood. 

It is dark and cold by the time we are released. Son had been dispatched home to walk dog. He had had to climb down the fire escapes on the outside of the building and in the window-- because he had forgotten his keys.

So I am feeling very stung, still over interaction with the doctor. My feelings are hurt. I hate having people mad at me. And i am sad for my girl. And husband is feeling helpless and angry because he can't make anything better. None of this brings out the best in him. Cab comes to pick us up. Cab costs a lot of money, but we need to get home.

Home now, and tired. Daughter is not sick. But now I feel that her pills are barely holding her. Any missed dose is going to have consequences. (Dear God, I hate consequences.) 

The thing about brain medications is: it is very hard to know what will make things better, what will make things worse, what will have side effects, what wont. And it is especially hard to know why. Nobody really knows why-- doctors don't. So if you find something that is sort of ok, you want to stick rather than gamble. Daughter knows this, and is resist to a new medication. I feel that way too. Scary. 

So, the upshot is, we go to see Dr on Thursday. We will have to tell her about the events in Staten Island. I am not looking forward to it.

Comments

( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
wellinghall
Dec. 2nd, 2012 07:09 pm (UTC)
I am sorry to hear about all this, and I hope things go well on Thursday.

*hugs*
eglantine_br
Dec. 2nd, 2012 08:01 pm (UTC)
I hope so too. I wonder if the doctor will bring it up again, and if so, how.
ashley_pitt
Dec. 2nd, 2012 07:26 pm (UTC)
Oh gosh, I hope things go okay at the doctors. *hugs*

My doctor once held my prescription for Flonase ( a nasal spray) hostage until I made an appointment for my annual check up.
eglantine_br
Dec. 2nd, 2012 07:56 pm (UTC)
In one way the doctor is right. I had not been thinking of her side of things. I like her, and I like talking to her, but I had been seeing her as a means to an end, rather than a person who was working with us. She reminded me quite harshly that she is a human person.

I don't know what happened to the script she called in. And now I am just a little afraid to ask!
amaraal
Dec. 2nd, 2012 07:32 pm (UTC)
*hugs you* Chin up! It ends well. I know it. Daughter seems to be a fighter. And so are you. Real life can be so shitty sometimes... I'm feeling with you!!!
eglantine_br
Dec. 2nd, 2012 08:00 pm (UTC)
Daughter is a fighter for sure. When she was small, like ,4,5, she would climb up into trees and shout "Catch me mom," and throw herself out. It never occurred to her that I might not be there to catch her. She would just sing out, and not actually look.

I always did catch her, even if it meant dropping everything and sprinting to the tree.

I finally got her to stop, because it really hurt my back. But, she is totally fearless about so much, it scares me.
ba1126
Dec. 2nd, 2012 08:12 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you had that awful experience. I would go "hat in hand" and apologize again for being remiss. Hopefully, with hearing of daughter's seizure and emergency trip to hospital, she will cut you some slack. Tell her you appreciate that she is conscientious about prescribing and promise in future to be more careful about follow up appts. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.
eglantine_br
Dec. 2nd, 2012 08:28 pm (UTC)
Yes. That was pretty much my plan. I really do like the fact that she wants to be informed.
anteros_lmc
Dec. 2nd, 2012 08:56 pm (UTC)
Sorry to hear you've all had such a traumatic few days. Glad daughter is feeling better now. How are you? You must be drained. Hope you get a chance to rest before Thursday.

It's good that Dr wants to be kept informed but her reaction does seem to be a little insensitive to say the least. I would certainly ask what happened to the missing script. Something has certainly gone wrong with the system there.
eglantine_br
Dec. 2nd, 2012 09:54 pm (UTC)
I am drained. Whole family slept all day, (Except daughter, who went out to play with friends. Turns out one girl, knowing no better had put her hand in daughters mouth. Daughter usually bites her tongue. It is hard to watch. She ended up biting her friend severely.

Something has gone wrong with system. Also system is not great to start with. But I am grateful to have health insurance. We still have to pay for the ambulance-- a bill will come shortly, and it is often more, if there was a paramedic intercept. But I never forget how lucky I am for the military insurance. Daughter is covered to age 21.

It is strange, I gave so much of my girls experience and personality to Archie. She has that same diffident bravery that he has-- I can just imagine him in a modern ER.

Edited at 2012-12-02 09:57 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - vespican - Dec. 2nd, 2012 11:03 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - eglantine_br - Dec. 2nd, 2012 11:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - anteros_lmc - Dec. 2nd, 2012 11:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
ioanite
Dec. 2nd, 2012 08:56 pm (UTC)
Thank goodness your daughter is ok. Good luck with the doctor.
eglantine_br
Dec. 2nd, 2012 09:58 pm (UTC)
I am kind of sad, I like the doctor, and I want her to like me. I feel I have wronged her, or at least she thinks so. I want it to be ok.
esmerelda_t
Dec. 2nd, 2012 09:08 pm (UTC)
I'm really sorry to hear your daughter had a seizure but glad it was minor and that her friend remained so poised throughout.

As for the doctor's phone call, yes doctors are human and can loose their temper/have a bad day just like anyone else but that's still pretty unprofessional behaviour. Hope she realises and apologises next time she speaks to you.
eglantine_br
Dec. 2nd, 2012 10:00 pm (UTC)
I feel trepidation about Thursday. Doctor feels I have taken her for granted, she is right, I think. I don't mind that she got mad, I just want it to be ok now.
(no subject) - esmerelda_t - Dec. 2nd, 2012 10:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
vespican
Dec. 2nd, 2012 11:07 pm (UTC)
Scary! A lot of medical and dental folks track visits and get back to us when we need to be seen, but then again, a lot of them don't. I'm seeing a doctor every three months for the myeloma that was diagnosed last year. Usually as I'm leaving after one appointment, we make the next one.
Dave
chloe_amethyst
Dec. 3rd, 2012 12:57 am (UTC)
I'm very sorry your daughter had to endure the seizure. I hope everything goes well on Thursday. I know the feds are really cracking down on doctors who prescribe without seeing patients every few months. My doctors are all changing their policies to accomodate.
eglantine_br
Dec. 3rd, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
That could have something to do with it. It is pretty normal for neuros to see people once every six months if all is going well-- but as Dr. pointed out all did not seem well-- and I left her hanging.
donnaimmaculata
Dec. 3rd, 2012 10:30 am (UTC)
Oh, I'm sorry you and your family had such a traumatic time. I hope the appointment at the doctor will not be too unpleasant. I actually think that she sounds like a good doctor if she gets angry with a patient for never showing up and if she refuses to be only a source of prescriptions. And her argument that she wasn't to know your daughter has been much better lately if she never gets to see her sounds quite reasonable.
eglantine_br
Dec. 3rd, 2012 03:10 pm (UTC)
Yes. I agree. She is a really good and caring doctor. I just don't think she needed to be quite as angry as she was. A reminder or warning would have sufficed.
katriona_s
Dec. 3rd, 2012 01:24 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm sorry to hear you & your family had such difficult time. I hope things' becoming better with your daughter, and the meeting with Dr wouldn't trouble you much.
eglantine_br
Dec. 3rd, 2012 03:11 pm (UTC)
I am worrying a lot about Thursday. But I will post and let you all know how it goes.
charliecochrane
Dec. 3rd, 2012 01:33 pm (UTC)
*hugs* Thinking of you all.
eglantine_br
Dec. 3rd, 2012 03:11 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I like fiction better than real life, sometimes.
vintagehearted
Dec. 3rd, 2012 09:26 pm (UTC)
That's scary stuff and I'm sorry to hear you and your family are going through all that. That doc doesn't sound like the kindest, most mild-mannered person on the planet, which doesn't help either. I wish you and your family luck for Thursday's appointment.
nodbear
Dec. 4th, 2012 10:35 am (UTC)
Sorry I am getting here this morning and not yesterday - and so sorry to hear what happened.
You are naturally exhausted - not only all the flurry but the emotion and spent adrenaline does that.

Your doctor sounds good and as if she bothers and that is important. and if she is a neurologist worthy of the name she will know that anger and harsh emotion are the worst possible emotions in any neurological examination. adrenalin distrubs and knocks off balance any result she might take and therfore I would be very surprised if she were not much calmer than before.

in any case it is one thins to be angnry at you the parent ( though unprofessional)adn quite another to be angry in front of your daughter her patient which would be quite off.
So I guess you both will be a bit polite but i am sure it will be ok in the end .She is human the doc - but her behavious is out of order and she must know it somewhere.Also as a neurolgoist it is tough going because one is so often helping people lvie with symptoms and not immeidately curing them and that is agianst the passion of most docs who want to solve adn cure -but of course Hippocrates actually said " do no harm"...

it must be a testing time - adolesencence is tough enough for dsughters and parents without edical hassles into the bargain but your dauhgter is bright and resourceful and brave ( yes just like your lovely Archue ) - and she gets that from you and Mr Eglantine both - lots of love and a big hug
eglantine_br
Dec. 4th, 2012 12:14 pm (UTC)
I think that you are right. She is a very good doctor, and that is why she is angry. She does care, very much. I know she wishes she could fix it, and cannot.

I know she will be kind to Claire. She and Claire like each other. Doctor and I are both to blame for Claire missing her dose, and everything that came from that. I am more to blame, for letting appointments slide, for not paying better attention. I had not realized how much time had passed.

Claire is still sore all over today. She also bit one of her friends quite severely. Child put her hand in Claire's mouth, not knowing better.

All I can do is go forward to Thursday. I hate having people angry with me...
( 30 comments — Leave a comment )

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