eglantine_br (eglantine_br) wrote,

Family Natterings

I had intended to go to Boston this past weekend to meet Katriona. She was not able to go, as you guys know-- but I went anyway to see my brother who lives just across the Charles. I had not gone out to his place in years-- had not seen him face to face in at least one year. (We cannot remember. which ought to tell something...)

Had a wonderful visit. On the first day he drove me up to Gloucester. We went to the beach there. Him, and his daughter, and me. His girl is growing up. She is not a real kid anymore. She has grown into a quiet intelligent young lady, She is the same age as my daughter, a willow tree to my pony. (And without pony's Brooklyn accent.)

The beach we went to is at Cape Ann. (You can find it on a map, it is the rocky bump above Cape Cod.) The water was cool and perfect, and we had the whole afternoon.  We were in a sort of inlet. The water was clear, and cool, the sun was out but not too hot. Lovely. We went out to a small deserted rock island. (My brother ferried us in his kayak.) There was nobody there at all. Just the sound of gulls, and  some cormorants with wings extended basking in the sun.

Neice and I spent several hours bothering hermit cabs. The water was clear enough that you could see them at foot level, and make a grab for them. When you first hold them they retreat into their shells, but if you wait they will come out, to see if maybe you are edible, and if not, why you are not eating them. Then you let them go, and they are comically relieved.

When the sun went low we basked on rocks and watched the birds. We were far from the sounds of the land-- just birds and water audible, and an occasional laugh from the beach. The tide went out... The sun went down. He paddled us back. I had that post beach, itchy/sandy/tired/happy.

Now today I am home again in Brooklyn. Good to be home too. Two days away, and one night is enough for me. Dog greeted me last night with paws on my chest. She never stands up like that. I was about ready to lick her face too. My husband was already asleep, but mumbled something welcoming. I have a sunburn... It was great.

One other thing: I had a strange talk with my daughter today. She was sitting at the computer, doing Facebook, and talking about why I turned off the texting on her phone. It developed into a discussion of what is normal responsibility at 14. Neice is not allowed to roam or Facebook. Daughter has no texting on her phone. ("Its so messed up, mom. My phone can only make calls...")

So I told a story of my 14th year. When I was the same age as my daughter my parents went out of town. They left me alone, with our animals to care for, and two elderly aunts down the road in case of emergency. I got blamed, upon their return for one of our goats getting mastitis. The thought was, I had not emptied her completely during milking.. I got blamed hard-- for years, for my irresponsible selfish behavior

My Daughter: "You mean, your parents left you alone for 4 days, and you were in charge of a farm? And you were my age??"

Me: "Yeah, not a big farm... goats, chickens.. But yeah.."

Daughter: "That's messed up."

(She is 14, lots of things are messed up.)

But I felt such terrible guilt for years, for my selfishness.

I wish we could have farm animals here-- chickens at least. My kids love animals. We have a dog and a cat. They have never had the level of responsibly I had back then. Hard to tell what normal is. What do you guys think?

Oh.I totally forgot. Today is my 25th wedding anniversary. Husband and I usually both forget until the following week. But this year one of us remembered!

I had a supposedly Christian, supposed friend, once try to tell me that our marriage was not 'real' because we were not married in a church. (We were married by a nice lady with a cactus on her desk blotter, and it was over before we put down the motorcycle helmets. Then we went to McDonald's. Hey, did you know that you can buy Jim Beam and Coke pre-mixed in a can? (perhaps only in Florida.) We found out that day. we were so young...

I would say that if God does not believe my marriage is real, He has made a pretty good show of pretending, what with the love, and the kids, and the bills, and all...
Tags: animals, childhood, family, real life

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