eglantine_br (eglantine_br) wrote,

You know how when you really want something important--

You know how it is when you want something so important that you don't want to say anything, or breathe wrong, or even to turn the inner gaze to see it because you.are afraid you will make it not happen? Well that is me right now.

We are actually moving. We have lived here for 7 years now, and we will be gone from here by June 1. I am just not sure where. We have an apartment we want. It is in a quiet part of town, it is actually bigger, and also cheaper. We have a good shot, I think. But it is not assured. Essentially, we have a week to find somewhere-- if we don't get the one we want.

Now, that is not as bad as it seems. We have always done it that way, when it is time to go you cannot dither, you have to jump and hope for a net.

So we are packing. Because that need not wait. And we are eating down our food, and rallying our documents. And I have done this so often in the last 25 years-- an average of every three years. That is what the Navy does to a family.

But oh-- I want this apartment so much. It is so much better than where we are now. It is right on the subway, and there is a giant park for Hazel, and it is close to the Army base so we can get the cheap groceries there, and It would be so great!

And the other thing-- I sent off my story to the Smut Project. If it gets picked it will be my first bit of paid writing. So I hope it does get picked. I will totally understand if it does not, and i am willing to fix just about anything they want fixed, but oh, I hope, I hope. Not so much for the money. I am not deluded enough to think it will make me much of that, but just to finally cross that line that I have been wanting to step over since I was 5.

So if you all are in the mood for wishing wishes, wish those wishes for me?

I will keep you apprised.

PS Now that I have gotten these other boys out of my system I can get back to Horatio Archie and Kit!
Tags: family, from brooklyn
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