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More things to go with more stuff

Hi guys. The apartment was not suitable. Very small. . It was railroad style, which means in order to get to a bedroom you have to walk through other bedrooms.It would be good for a couple with one or two small kids. And no bookcases. Not what we can use. Still, the neighborhood was nice. We will keep looking.

The hair went off better. Husband took her and friend to a place on Canal St. He sat happily in the tiny salon while she got it done. I think he took them for coffee too. It is very blue-- quite dark. I pictured more of a light blue. But it will mellow, hair dye always does, and she spends a lot of time in the sun. She is right, it matches her dark blue eyes. But being so dark it makes her look a little peaky.

But they liked it at school. She said her crew teacher, (not rowing, but an anchor class, like homeroom,) liked it a lot.

Daughter is sad because she will not have band every day this year, but only twice a week. But she got chemistry for science, which she wanted. They have a college visit on Wednesday. The big college push starts this year, two years out. I remember when nobody bothered you until you were a senior.

it seems cruel to me to tell kids who are 15, 'Don't experiment, or change your mind, don't make mistakes, everything is on the record now.'  At her age she should be able to fumble around. She is not an adult. It is silly to expect her to know what she is doing with her life from here out.

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( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
veronica_rich
Sep. 9th, 2013 11:34 pm (UTC)
Shit, I feel the same way about adults who have Facebook and Twitter and other social media accounts that potential employers troll. UNLESS YOU SEE CLEAR AND DAMAGING EVIDENCE OF MURDER OR TERRORIST PLOTS ON SOMEONE'S ACCOUNT, leave them alone. Let them have a personal life outside of your shitty underpaid hellhole on their free time. Geez.
ba1126
Sep. 10th, 2013 12:46 am (UTC)
Glad the hair went well.

Well, when somebody tells my kid not to experiment or make mistakes, I'd be thinking they were warning them about drugs or drinking or unprotected sex. But checking out schools and trying out jobs should help her figure out a direction to go. And if you get into a school/program that isn't what you thought it would be, you've learned something! That should help you make a better choice next time!

My youngest son did a year at the Art school where his brother graduated. He decided he would rather do computers. He changed schools and did a fabulous three years and is HIGHLY successful now!!
eglantine_br
Sep. 10th, 2013 03:00 am (UTC)
I agree that learning should be the goal-- not taking only classes that you know already that you can pass so that you have a good looking transcript. I would rather see both of mine try something.

As for a web or social media identity, I think we should not say things of which we are ashamed. If we are kind and honest online then we can go where we like.

These are my ideas, anyhow. I get wobbly and worried sometimes, about motherhood. Who knows, in ten years, or twenty, or fifty, what will have held up?

I'm aiming for kindness above all I guess.
mylodon
Sep. 10th, 2013 10:46 am (UTC)
Just keep talking to your kids - keep the channels open for discussing important things. You're their primary educator.
ba1126
Sep. 10th, 2013 01:16 pm (UTC)
Yes, communication IMHO is key. Let them know you would rather have them ask you difficult questions than get info from less reliable sources. I used to say "You can ask me ANYTHING. I don't promise to be happy with every question, but I'll do my best to find you honest answers."

As for what goes online, I think your answer is great! When my kids weren't sure, I'd say "Would you want your Mother or grandmother to see this? If the answer is no, then don't do it."

We also kept the family computer in the dining room, so anyone in the kitchen or parlor could see it. My adult son used to occasionally check the memory, as well. This is how I found out that a 'long distance' boyfriend had shown my daughter a picture of his penis!! He was blocked immediately!!
vespican
Sep. 10th, 2013 11:02 pm (UTC)
I may not always succeed at it, but when using social media, including LJ, I try to remember that I'm posting for the public. Dave
anteros_lmc
Sep. 11th, 2013 09:21 pm (UTC)
Sorry the apartment didn't work out. Hope you find something more suitable soon. I'm having nae luck on the job front either :/

Huzzah for daughter's hair! I think you're absolutely right to let her experiment and find out what suits her and what doesn't and where her aspirations lie. Kids need to be able to find their own feet. Having said that, I wonder if I'll be able to be as reasonable as you if / when toots decides to dye her golden curls?!
nodbear
Sep. 14th, 2013 01:30 pm (UTC)
Blue hair sounds splendid - and great to find out how it looks

sorry the apartment was not ideal but hope another one comes to view soon
I am havng to mvoe by next Summer too - somewhere a lot smaller - indeed If I stay here (in this area ) a lot lot smaller.

Which is good as it has got me asking what can I really do without of the vast anounts of stuff that I have .
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )